And The Winner Is
by Sunny's Priceless Dream
Summary: It's that time of the year again, time for the annual WWE talent show, and the superstars are at it again. But who will come out victorious this year? One-shot.


**A/N- Another story, another day. I'm going to run out of idea here before to long! This is just a humor oneshot , let me know what you think. **

**I have a poll in my profile to see what next chapter story I should do, I would be forever grateful if you guys voted. **

"**WWE TALENT SHOW TO BE HELD SATURDAY, MAY 10, 2 -5 P.M" **

The sign up sheet for the annual talent show has been passed around in each locker room, for the past two weeks. So far, there was only six people to sign up. This was more than a little odd, usually by now there is at least fifteen sign ups. The wrestlers all knew the reason for this...the same person has won it the past three years. Earlier this year, different people had promised to beat him this year. There was no way Cena was going to win again. Currently, the sheet was being passed around the Raw roster.

"No, there's no way. No way in hell. Better yet, no chance in hell."

"Are you old enough to swear?" Chris asks, no sarcasm hinted at. Everyone just ignores his comment though.

"Aw c'mon Cody. This is your first year, you should do it." Randy encourages.

"Yeah Cody. We all entered it our first year here." Hunter adds.

"This has only been only going on for ten years, you've been here longer." Cody points out. This is one thing he refused to do, he made an ass out of himself enough this past year.

"Yeah, well that's not the point. The point it, your the rookie, so your doing it."

"DH is more of a rookie then me. Make him do it." Cody says, pointing to the young man in the corner of the locker room, smiling to himself.

"As true as that may be, no one really likes him. Besides, what would his talent be? Biggest smile?" John says. He was already signed up, more excited then ever. He wins every year, and this year would be no different.

"Guys. no. I'm not doing it. I have no talents anyhow." Cody protests.

"We'll train you. We have plenty of time, about four days." Shawn says. He was in the contest too. This was his year to win, he came close each year, but this was the year for him to win that cheap trophy Vince gives out each year. He could feel it, now was his time.

"No. No. No. Absolutely not. Just drop it, I'm not entering it." Cody says, his decision final.

"So do you want to be on in the first hour, or last hour?" Chris asks, having previously signed Cody up, and was now tired of waiting for the others to convince him to participate.

"Chris. No."

"Alright, last hour it is." Chris says, writing down all of Cody's information.

"Great. So who do we have so far?" John asks, anxious to see who he was going to beat out this year. It never got old, and the more he beat, the better it was.

"We got, Cena, Michaels, Me, Cody, Randy, Hunter, Jillian, Bradshaw, Kennedy, Santino, and Shane." Chris tells them. Somewhere in between, more people signed up then originally thought.

"So why are there only Raw stars signed up?" Shawn asks.

"Vince doesn't want the other two brands in this contest, he believes it gets out of hand when we're all three together." Hunter says. He tried to talk Vince into allowing them, but I guess when you start a fire and cost him a hundred thousand, he doesn't take it lightly.

"Alright then. Cody, let's start thinking of a talent for you." John says.

"Is sex with men a talent?" Chris asks.

"I think it is in Argentina. But then again, their amused by anything down there." Randy says, remembering all his experiences down there.

"Then we're set. Cody, we got you a talent." Chris declares.

"Thanks guys, but I think I may have my own talent." Cody tells them.

"Yeah, we know. We just told you." Chris says.

"Oh, by the way, did you all get your wedding invitations to Becky and I's wedding?" Cody asks, completely ignoring Chris.

"Yes. We'll be there." John answers for all of them.

"Hey, junior. I didn't get an invite." Chris says. His must have gotten lost in the mail.

"Oh...I..uh." Cody stumbles, trying to quickly think of an excuse.

"I guess being the best man means I'm already invited. No reason to waste more paper."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the tenth annual WWE talent show. I promise tonight you will be amazed, awed, and surprised, that these men and women can do more than just wrestle." Lillian Garcia announces.

"So let's not waste anymore time, and get right to it. First up, Kennedy...Kennedy." Lillian announces, getting a round of applause before walking off stage. Loud music blared over the speakers, then died down slightly, and the distinct sound of tapping shoes was heard.

That's right. Ken Kennedy knew how to tap dance, and it was the perfect talent to beat Cena with. No one expected the Green Bay native to have such skill, but the quickness of his feet, and the pattern they did, showed he had years experience at tap dancing. The crowd was truly amazed that the loud mouth cocky man they were used to seeing on Monday could tap dance. They stood and gave him a standing ovation when he was done. Kennedy made his way backstage to the applause of his fellow wrestlers.

"Since when could you tap dance?" John asks. He hoped no one else had secrets talents, or he might just be in jeopardy of losing this year.

"Since I was eleven. What's it to you?" Ken says, a little out of breath. They all sat back and watched some of the others go, Carlito was able to spit his apple twenty six feet. Jillian sang a song about Brittany Spears, JBL downed a six pack of beer in three minutes, and Shane let fifty thousand dollars fall on stage and was only able to pick seventeen thousand of it up in a minute. Santino did the worst impressions of Hogan, Shawn, Bret Hart, and Scott Hall that anyone has ever hear before. There was no way he was going to win, he sucked. John wasn't worried, they all sucked, and what they did wasn't considered a talent anyhow. He had this won, no doubt.

"Shawn, your up next." A stage hand informs him. This was no normal sized building this show was taking place, it seemed like a small stadium, or perhaps an arena, holding maybe two thousand people.

"Good luck man." Hunter calls out to him as he walks onto the stage. The heartbreak kid was quite the comedian backstage, that he was going to be one on stage tonight.

"What do you call a chicken crossed with a duck?" Shawn asks the crowd, not wasting any time.

"What?" The crowd responded, more than ready for the answer.

"Chuck!" Shawn tells them, as the crowd erupts into laughter at Shawn's clever joke.

"Stop, stop. I have another one. What do you call a guy in a ring who can't wrestle?" Shawn asks, as the boys in the back smirk, they know what's coming.

"What?" The crowd yells again.

"John Cena." Shawn finishes, as the crowd almost falls out of their seats laughing.

"You guys are so kind. Thank you all." Shawn thanks them, then exits the stage.

"That was awesome man. Loved the Duck joke." Cody says. He got a chuckle himself out of both of Shawn's jokes.

"Yeah, the Cena one had me cracking up." Hunter says.

"Chris, your up." The stagehand says.

"Alright monkeys. Watch and learn." Chris says confidently walking out onto the stage. He had this won, no doubt.

"All you assclowns need to know that I am the ayatollah of rock n rollah, king of th world. Not to mention the sexy beast, Y2J, and I also have a gorgeous waist. Someday, hopefully soon, you will realize that your never going to be as great as me. Learn it while your young so your not heartbroken when your older. If I were you, I wouldn't even aspire to be a wrestler, because one day your going to have to face me, and I'd kick your ass. I'm better then you now, and in ten years, I'm still going to be better than you." Jericho finishes. The crowd looks at him, stunned and silent, before clapping like they just heard a speech from the president.

"I guess it doesn't take a lot to entertain this crowd." Cody comments after hearing Jericho's speech. He wasn't as nervous as he first was. What most of the guys have done isn't even considered a talent. He had this won.

"Everyone loves to hear Chris talk. He has a natural talent." Randy says.

"Hunter, your up." Stan says. They finally figured out the stage mans name. Stan. Stan the man.

"Wish me luck guys. I'm going to inform them of how to get rich and successful fast."

"What's he going to do? Tell them to marry the bosses daughter?" John asks jokingly, knowing Hunter wouldn't do that.

"As soon as you get a job, find out if your boss has a daughter." Was the first thing they heard from Hunter.

"Instant success. That's not to say that you don't have to be good at what you do though, or you'll only be somewhat successful.

"Sure, people will look down upon you, but they will be doing that while standing in the unemployment line." Hunter tells them. How is this a talent? No wonder John won this every year. He probably raps.

"Just remember those three simple tips, and before you know you'll be rich." Hunter finishes, listening to the crowd cheer and chant him name. He had this won. After soaking up their yells and cheers, he made his way backstage to the disbelieving faces of John, Randy, and Cody, along with the proud smile of Shawn. The only people who had to go yet were John, Cody, and Randy.

"Your up next Randy." Stan the man informed him.

"Watch what a winner looks like fools." Randy says, taking his place on stage. Loud Rap music began to blare through the speakers and Randy began to dance.

Break dance.

As if he wasn't bad enough as it was, his choice of music wasn't much better. He chose a song from Cena's latest rap album. Nonetheless, the fans went wild for him. Cheering and screaming like they never seen a bad white man dancer before, and Randy really was bad. They loved him though. After a few more minutes, the song ended and Randy had a standing ovation. He walked backstage with a victorious smile on his face.

"Right there is a winning talent."

"Dude, you suck." Jericho tells him.

"Yeah, and who said you could use one of my songs?" John asks.

"Not that it helped you any." Shawn adds laughing a little.

"Whose up next?" Cody asks, trying to settle his nerves.

"You, they keep the previous years winner off until last." John says.

Cody nodded his head than began to unzip his jacket. He had on a tracksuit and white sneakers, which he took off too.

"Hey Junior, you didn't really take my advice about having sex with a man on stage did you? There are kids out there." Chris informs him, turning his head as Cody continues to strip.

"No, I'm going to twirl batons that are on fire." Cody tells them, ready for the jokes. They didn't come however, much to his surprise...but then he took off his tracksuit, and the laughter erupted. Cody had on a one piece suit, glittery, that extended around his head.

"What in the hell are you wearing?" John asks in between laughter.

"This is what all professional baton twirlers wear." Cody says dryly, scolding himself for not keeping on his normal clothes.

"You should have used the sex idea, it would have saved you your dignity." Hunter tells him, tears falling down his face from laughing so hard. Cody ignored them and walked out to the stage, various pictured being taken from the guys as he made his way out. It didn't boost his confidence any when the crowd began to laugh at him. Sucking it up though, he began the routine he perfected over the past week.

In all honesty, you had to admit he was good at it. He wasn't lying, both batons were lit on fire and he threw them through the air. He had no music, and could hear the boys in the back laughing, but he wasn't going to let that break his concentration. He finished it off by doing a flip in the air and catching the batons before they hit the ground, it truly was a sight to see. It took a moment for the crowd to get over his choice of clothing, but once they did, they showed their respect for what he did, and that was all he asked for.

"You got that on video right?" Was the first thing Cody heard when he got backstage.

"Yeah, so does Chris." Hunter tells Shawn.

"John, you need to get out there, we are running over the time limit." Stan tells him.

"I think Dan needs a night off." Chris says, all night he watched the man do nothing but work.

"It's Stan." Randy points out.

"Where?" Chris asks, looking around.

"Never mind. Let's watch John." Shawn says.

"Hey man, what's your talent?" Randy asks, as John begins his walk to the stage.

"I have the ability to simply walk on a stage, and make people scream for no reason." John tells him. It is always like that on Raw. He walks out, says nothing, and the crowd goes wild. If that wasn't a talent he didn't know what was.

"Good luck man." Randy says, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Next up, and last years winner, John Cena." Lillian announces to the crowd. John's music hit and he walked out onto the stage, the same way he did on Raw ever week. He smiled and waved, waiting for the children and women to go nuts for him.

A nut hit him in the head, thrown from a man in the front row. Other than that, nothing.

The crowd was completely dead to him. Not one cheer, clap, or scream. There were a few distinct boo's. What the hell was going on? Had his fans turned on him? What else was he supposed to do? His only talent was making young girls scream his name when he walked out into the spotlight! Not knowing what to do, John quickly made his exit off the stage, defeated.

"I don't know what happened." John says to the others as he steps off the stage.

"Maybe their just tired, it's been a long night." Randy tells his best friend.

"Yeah, half the crowd was probably sleeping anyway." Shawn adds.

"Or maybe your as bad as everyone keeps saying you are and all your fans are now Jerichoholics." Chris says, offering his opinion.

"Let's just wait for the results to come back. Then we will see who has bragging right." Ken says. There was a short intermission so the voted could be tallied up, and all the contestants wait backstage patiently.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we now have the results. I'm going to ask all contestants to walk out onto the stage." Lillian asks, and steps aside as they all form a line on the stage.

"In third place, the joker of them all, Shawn Michaels." Lillian announces, Shawn steps forward with a small smile. He was really hoping to win the big cheap trophy this year.

"And in Second place, losing by only two votes, Cody Rhodes." Cody, hardly believing it, doesn't register his almost win at first. But that's okay, because Jericho takes the mic.

"What the hell assclowns. How could you pick him over me? He is gay for crying out loud." Chris whines, before adding one more thing.

"Unless you picked me for first." Lillian manages to get the mic from him, and opens the envelope to reveal the first place winner.

"And the winner of the 2008 WWE talent show is...Santino Marella with his impressions of WWE superstars.

"That is-a why, Santina Marells is-a greatest superstar-a in the world whole. You-a fans made the right-a decision." Santino says, taking his trophy and exiting the stage, in hopes of celebrating with Maria.

"Can't believe he won." John mumbles, upset with himself. This means he is going to have to train to become a wrestler, he can't rely on his fans to get him over anymore. How depressing.

"I can't believe I lost. I bet Dan had something to do with this." Chris says, angry. There is no fair way he lost, it just isn't possible.

"It's Stan."

"Where?"


End file.
